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Edward tha Third tuked more arter ees granfa’ than wat ’e did arter ees vather. Turrable vond o’ vitin’ ’e waz; turrable vond, zure nuv, though I ant yeered that ’e hat off quite zo many hades as wat Edward the Virst did. Owsummever ’e ’at off a gudish vu.
Tha virst wiz a chap name o’ Martimore, an’ I oiz zo plazed as cude be whane tha King putt an eend tu ’e, vor ’e wiz a gude-vor-nuthin’ to-ad.
Although Edward wiz zo much awver vitin’ an’ zitch like, eet ’e ad wat yew mid carl a eye vor tha maidens; vor I be dalled eef a-wadden mar-reed an’ got wan cheels ’vore ’e waz ayteen yer awld. Waz, begad!
Wull, virst thing Edward wiz vorce tu du, wiz tu try an’ putt ztrait tha mess ees vather ’ad made up tu Zcotlan’. Propper scummer thur waz up thair tu, zure ’nuv. Yu mind wat I tole ’e o’ a chap name o’ Bruce? Wull, ees zon twaz, David Bruce wiz duin’ o’t. Rare chap ’e waz tu, thees yer David Bruce.
Edward tuked ees army up kontry, but tha Scotchy chaps wadden out vor vitin’ tho; zo ’e wiz vorce tu kom back agean wayout duin nort.
Owsoever, ’e ’ad ’nuther try, an’ got on bedder thees time. Yu mind I tole ’e zummat avore ’bout a chap name o’ Bailey (ony twadden Bailey agzakly, but twiz verry much like it; us’ll carl un Bailey be-as-twull). Wull tha zon o’ thees yer Bailey wiz alive tho, zo Edward ’e pretended ’e wiz gwain tu ’elp ’e, tu be king o’ Scotland.
Wadden, yer knaw, na more than yu be, but that wiz jiss ees artfulness de-zee.
Wull they tu, they beat Bruce, an’ ’e wiz vorce tu urn away tu Vrance or zum vine place or nuther, an’ Bailey ’e wiz made king so-say. But ’e gid away zo much land tu Edward, that tha voke up their widden ave no truck way’n.
But twiz awver tu ’rance whur Edward du’d moas’ part o’ ees vitin’.
Tes a mix-muddle avair rather, an’ I carn make tap nor tail o’t, nat propper; but vrom wat I can make out o’t, Edward thort, that be gude right, ’e ort tu ’ave Vrance belongin’ tu’n; an’ zo ’e carled up tha resarves, an’ tha Yomary, an’ tha Demshur urgement cuse, an’ zot out tu vite they.
I carn explain propper aul tha liddle viddlin’ eens an’ outs o’ tha case, but vrim wat I can zee, et doan matter where twiz zixty yer agone, or zix underd yer agone, or where twaz tu-morrer; whane a Englishman wiz wanted tu vite vor ees kontry ’e wiz thur, raddy; an’ whane twiz aul ‘awver ’e wiz utherways dade, or else ’e wiz gettin’ raddy, case ’e shid be wanted agean.
Thur wiz wan turrable vite they ’ad tu a place curled Kressy. Edward didden vite thees battle izzel, but ’e leff ’n vor ees zon tu vite, whu wadden much better than a buoy chap. Ees name wiz Edward tu, an’ ’e wiz carled the Black Prince on ’count o’ ees warin’ black armer. (Armer ees they ire cloas they use tu ware.)
While they wiz vitin’, Edward (tha ole chap, I manes), ’e went vore tu tha ade o’ a ’eel, an’ zot pin tap o’ a winmill, zo’s ’e cude zee aul wat wiz gwam vore.
Wull, tha baddle beginned. But tha Vrench ’ad got more sojers be arf than wat tha English ’ad, an’ wan time tha vokes thort tha Black Prince cid be bate vor zartin’. Zo they rawd vore whur tha King wiz tu, an’ they axed ’e tu kom an’ lend a ’and.
Zo the King ’e zaith, “Es my zon wownded?"
“ Naw, yer onner,” zes tha nights; “ ’e idden wownded.”
“Es a-dade then?” axed tha King agean.
“Naw, ti naw,” they zes.
“Wull then,” ’e zes, “ let ’n vite on be izzel, vor I wants ’e tu ’ave aul the glory o’t.”
An’ zo ’e did; an’ ’e winned tu, dalled eef a-didden, an’ tha Vrench thay wiz bate propper; vir aul that they’d a zite more mane than wat tha English ’ad. But that doan make no odds, gi’ ’em a vair chance an’ kom out eentu tha orpen an’ vite.
Wull, arter theas, tha English kom vor tu a place carl Cally. “Calais,” ’tis spelled, but they Vrench doan carl nuthin’ way no sense tu yet. I’ve yeered that they carls a ’oss a shovel, an’ thair mother a mare. I spoas arter that raate, tha vather’s tha ole oss.
Owsummever, they wiz vorce tu take thees plaace zummat zame zort o’ way as wat Joshua tuked Jeriko. I doan mane traypsm aroun un playin’ muzics an’ olleyin’. But tha sawjers jis zot down aul around an’ widden let nort go een, na nawbody kom out.
Gude laurd! Twaz a turrable time, so passon zed. ’E wadden thair, cuse, vor tes nigh zem underd yer agone. Tha pore to-ads wiz vorce tu ate up aul tha rats an’ cannles, tull kom tu las’ they adden got nort tu ate tarl.
Wull tho they wiz vorce tu kom out ya-knaw, an’ Edward zed that arf-dizin o’ thur hade men shid kom vore tu ’e, way roaps around thur nex, an’ tha kays o’ tha zity een thur ’ands. An’ zo they did.
An’ Edward wid a-’ad ’m ’anged, aul lot o’m, ony ees wive wiz thur zame time; an’ ’er wiz zo vexed vor’m tu think zitch brave chaps shid be vorce tu die ya-knaw, that ’er beg-id o’ Edward tu let em off.
Zo ’e did.
Wull, I carn tull ’e wan arf tha things wat ’appened while Edward tha Third wiz King.
Thur wiz a turrable dizaze spread aul auver tha kontry, witch voke carled tha Black Death.
An’ twaz a black death, zure muff. Passon zed nawbody never knawed where twid be ees tarn nex’ or no. Two ’underd a day, zo a-zaid, wiz burried een wan churchyard. Lor massey! I sim I zhidden like tu a-leeved een thay days, eef twaz tha gude ole taimes. Thur, be as ’twull, I spoas I shid a-bin dade be now, any ro-ad.
Thur wiz jiss wan more vite I mus’ tull ’e o'.
Turrable chap vor vitin’, thees yer Edward, an’ zo wiz tha zon o’n. Wan za bad as tuther they waz.
Thees time twiz tu a plaace carl---dalled eef I doan’ mos’ virget wat twaz a-carl begad, an’ eet I got en pin tip me tong. Owsumever, et beginned way a P, an’ wat rest o’t waz I carn tull ’e; but et doan’ make ’apney odds. Tes aul awver now wunts, an’ carn be ’elped.
Be as ’twull, tha Vrench ’ad got more sawjers than tha English be twalve tu wan; but et didden make no odds eef they ’ad. They wiz dressed and up een thees yer ire cloas, but tha English chaps ’ad leff thur ire cloas ’ome, zo they wiz more pliant like than the Vrench waz, an’ they hat em aul tu hatums.
Twiz like thees yer, do-’e-zee! Tha Vrench chaps wiz aul zticked up pin osses, an’ ours wiz pin vute. Zo Edward ’e maniged tu get the Vrench een between a bit o’ a ude, whur they adden got rume tu muvvee propper.
Tho, whane they kom tarin’ down pin thur osses the English let vly tu’n way thur baws an’ arrers, an’ cuse down kom tha vrunt line, an’ vore the, rest o’m cude go vor tu stap thurzels they wiz tap-an’-tail auver the hades o’n.
Thur they waz, aul tn a mix muddle, an’ aul the English ’ad tu du wiz urn een an’ out, hattin’ o’m abroad jiss as they mind tu ’most, tull tu lass tha Vrench wiz vorce tu urn vor thur lives, ’cept they wat wiz killed, pore to-ads, an’ they adden got no lives tu urn vor; zo they bide whur they wiz tu. An’ thur wiz a-meny thousans o’ they, I warrner.
Wull, that’s mos’ aul I kin mind ’bout thees Edward; ’e wiz King up vivty yer, an’ tho ’e tuke an’ died.
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There is no equivalent in the third edition to "Edward III"