I dersay you can mind zum liddle time gone wan o’ thay Irish chaps een parlyment ztude up an’ beginned ta tull tu the vokes een the Irish langwidge zo’s they cuden understan’ wat a-waz tullin’ ’bout.

’E ony du’d et jiss tn turrify tha guverment s’knaw, and whane I meet Uncle Tom a day or tu arterwards ’e wiz full o’t.

“ Sitch ole wit-pot stuff,” zo a zed. “Eef I’d a bin thur I wid a putt a stapper pin ’e, I warrner, zo’s ’e widden a want ta tull up ees ole Irish no more.”

“Wat wid ’e a du’d?” zo I zed.

“Du’d,” ’e sed; wy I wid a bide ztiIl tull ’e ’ad vinished, an’ tho I wid a ztude up an’ zed tn en—

“Thee gurt maze-crack, mump-aided vule toad, wat ta gudeness du ’e think thee be zticked up their vor, like a gurt gap-mouthe, lukin’ za zuent as a basket o’ chips, way yer wit-pot nonsince an’ yer ole gites an’ itums, tullin’ o’ zummat thee cassan understan theezul na nobody else nuther. Git 'ome thee wit-pot an’ bide een ouze long o’ misses. Yu mid du a bit o’ gude thur maybe. Yu cude du up a vew choors I dersay, or quiet tha cheel whane ees scralin’, or zee tha tetties didden bile auver an’ zet up a stooer, but er muzzen trist ’e way cloam, or twid be zune brawked aul abroad ta shords. Yu cude zar tha pegs, tho you cuden mulkee, I warrner. Yu mid ketch a want or tu, praps, or a stot, an’ yu cude be putt drashin’ way drashels, tho yu wid be mos’ likely tu hat yer hade. But thur, twidden make much odds, vir tis a timbern wan. An’ arterwads yu mid be ’lowed ta pule tu a vurkin, an’ ’ave yer vorenunes. Aw! ees fie, thurs naw eend tu tha viddlin’ jobs yu cude be putt tu, though eef yu wadden naw more gude thur than yu be yer thay’d a braave zite zoonder nit ’ave ’e neast tha plaace. But twid be better than kommin vore yer way yer ole rigmarole an’ pedigree. Larn ta putt yer ’and ta tha sool and ’andle the peek, an’ clane age-traws or make spars an’ thatchee, or eef twiz any ta carr ude zo’s us cude catch yet een chimley cornder yu mid be o’ zum zarvice.

“That ud scare aul tha Irish out o’n, I’ll warrner.”





There is no equivalent in the third edition to "Demshur and Irish”

One would hope not.

Cock says: "He [Coles] was wise enough to keep political affinities out of his tales; only once does he slip up ... This was during an election, and Coles's feelings temporarily got the better of him" [Jan Stewer, p. 41]. It is nice of Cock to say so, but "once" and "temporarily" does not ring true. This rant (on the left) does not bear it out, and it is clear Cock has not read more than two (or so?) stories NOT reprinted in the Demshure Buke. Unfortunately, some of the stories written during the Boer War are very intemperate and intolerant of the other parties, "Radicals" or Boers or Irish! ["when 'Arry 'Awk. who is as rank a Radical as ever sticked Zhamrock in er’s ’at." "Devon and Exeter Gazette" 2 March 1900]. Evidence can be easily seen in "The Tales at Uncle Tom Cobleight's Club" [forthcoming!]